Asalaamu ‘alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh. (Peace be upon you.)

Darkness to the Light It was dark..I felt confused.. empty. things weren’t goin my way. You got alot but you still want more.. you don’t want to stick with anyone, you don’t want to make that commitment because you know its all goin to end someday anyway. So why trust them? It’s just a one man thing. That’s what I felt about life. Maybe that was one of the reasons why i went down the other road from my friends? I dno, but it was easy.. easier than losing them when i wasn’t prepared for it. People say you’re friendship can be so strong that you never give up on backing each other.. others say that a guy or a gurl can make your friendship crumble.. no matter how long it lasted. What if you lose both?

That’s what life is.. if someone says ‘I love you.’ do they really mean that? Because you guys can’t live happily ever after, one of you will die.. before the other, or maybe at the same time? But that isn’t a happy ending is it? You live and you die, so you want to make the most out of it right? So even if you love someone like krazy, their going to move on someday… i once thought that the two who love each other, the one who dies is better off than the one who’s living, because they can’t experience the hurt.. I don’t know if that’s true. You don’t need to trust me, because i know i’m not right on alot of things. But i’ve learnt alot since i’ve took another road.. because losing friends means you need to think differently, you need to go down your own road instead of following someone else. I had given up hope once, quite alot of times.. but again i kept falling into the same trap without realising it. I didn’t like hurting people.. but gradually it becomes fun. Weird huh? That’s what happens when you continuously keep doing it.. you desire to do wrong, you feel that you need it to keep living, to keep up that sense of happiness. When you keep doing it, you lose that high feeling and you want something more higher than that. so you keep doing more and more to get that same thrill.. because that old joy has died out, yet you still crave for it even though it doesn’t benefit you.. infact it harms you so much, but you really want it for no reason except to harm yourself.. but you like that. Who distinguishes what’s right or wrong though? We might discuss this in another article insha’Allaah (God willing) but we know that it is our own Creator who created us, so He knows what is right for us and what is wrong. So it’s He who sends messengers to us so we understand the difference between right and wrong. We also know without seeing divine revelation that there are things which are wrong [i.e. murder, rape etc.] and the reason for this is because Allaah has created us in a state of fitrah [natural inclination to do good and to abstain from evil] but this fitrah can be altered by the society and people around us. This is why we might see some people murdering others for the fun of it, because there fitrah has been altered. So this is why fitrah and divine revelation come hand in hand. The final messenger of God was Muhammad (peace be upon him.) Don’t worry, you’ll understand the why’s and how’s some other time insha’Allaah. 

 So what happens? Everytime i fall into the mistake.. i turn back to Allaah. Then i get lost again. Each time falling deeper and deeper.. into the darkness, lost. I’m wandering in the darkness.. alone. I don’t even know where i’m going, i don’t have no directions or a guide… Anyway so all this time i be thinking, when i did turn to Allaah, why do i turn back to the old ways again? What’s up with me? I’ve read all these revert stories of people becoming muslim, but why do they do that? It has to be for a reason.. a thought flashes through my mind. From the little knowledge that I had from my childhood, I heard that the Messenger of Allaah, Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that he had come right close to the final times.. close to the time when the day of Judgement will be. I asked myself, why would God send a prophet right next to the final times only? What about the times before that?.. So what do i do? I do something clever, yet so simple. All this time i had read how people become muslim, yet i’ve never looked at the sole reason why they became muslim. They never became muslim because they read stories of others turning to Islaam. No, they read the actual miracle which Allaah sent down to His Messenger – the Qur’an [the literal word of Allaah/God Almighty.] Yup, the Qur’an. So clever init? It took so many years.. but for once i turn to the actual miracle itself. I read through some chapters.. oh yeah! Now i remember! The Qur’an mentions stories of the true prophets who came before us.. the stories of Adam, Noah, Ibraheem (Abraham), Jesus, Moses, Muhammad and more Prophets (peace be upon them all.) All came with the same message of calling to the obedience of our Creator, Allaah Almighty. So I realise that there were actually prophets who came before, and I’ve realised now that the first sign leading upto the final events was the final Messenger of Allaah himself, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him.) A Mercy for all of mankind.. calling us towards Allaah’s Reward of Paradise which He has kept in store for His obedient servants, and warning us of a severe punishment if we turn away from God’s message. This was the first step which first softened my heart after a long time.. for once i started trusting something/someone. I felt i could hold onto it without being hesitant to lose it. Anyway i needed a change in my life.. not like i was successful earlier on, because before i actually felt even more stressed out.. for once i had opened my heart out and placed my trust in Someone without being hesitant.. it actually made me feel relaxed, calm, whereas i hadn’t experienced that for a long while. I felt like a kid almost, like when you feel happy when you win a small prize. The thing is, i actually felt comfortable because i could see why there are limits set in islaam, because if you go past these boundaries – you actually harm your ownself. You don’t harm your Creator, the only reason He limits us is because if we go past these limits we’re harming our own souls/bodies, and the people around us. And the only reasons these trials are here is for Allaah to see if we will break these limits or obey Him out of our own freewill, which will be a proof with us or against us on the day of ressurection, when Allaah will judge us on all that we did in this life. Anyway because I had messed my life up alot, my fitrah [natural disposition] had been altered alot. Which meant i would need to get the guidance and try hard to implement it in my life. It took trial and error, but you know what? I was really happy because Allaah knows my intentions so I was happy that He was prepared to forgive me so long as i was sincere to Him. I kept working on it.. as time passed by, I started hanging, talking to muslim brothers who would also influence me to become more practising & obedient to Allaah. Now i had a new way of life, i had a map, a guide, I had friends to help me on my way if I ever got lost. Allaah placed the mercy back in my heart, because Allaah places mercy in the heart of those who show it to others and He is Merciful to them.. so that’s the only way we can really be succesful. All other paths lead to the darkness, whereas the path towards Allaah leads you towards the light. You don’t feel stressed, because you do all you have control over and then leave the rest upto Allaah. You win in this life and the next, and anyone who think’s they’ll lose their friends.. remember that if you give up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah replaces you with something better, and He is the One who raises and lowers our respect. I’ve experienced that now, praise be to Allaah. To sum it all up, this is the verse of the Qur’an which summarises exactly what I feel:

Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

Allah is the Protector of those who have faith: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light. Of those who reject faith the patrons are the evil ones: from light they will lead them forth into the depths of darkness. They will be companions of the fire, to dwell therein (For ever).

[Qur’an Al Baqarah 2:256-7]

Here are some famous quotes by famous scholars, which a person won’t understand unless they submit to Allaah:

‘Truly, there is a Heaven in this world, [And] whoever does not enter it, Will not enter the Heaven of the next world.’

‘What can my enemies do to me? I have in my breast both my Heaven and my Garden. If I travel they are with me, and they never leave me. Imprisonment for me is a religious retreat [khalwa]. To be slain for me is martyrdom [shahada] And to be exiled from my land is a spiritual journey [siyaha].’

All these paths lead to paradise, so if we target that – anything that happens in our life shouldn’t actually scare us. Our target is towards Allaah, so we can gain His Mercy so He can allow us into paradise because that is the eternal home.

‘The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord; the true captive is someone captured by his passions.’

Anyway, maybe you’ll see more of me in other parts of the blog insha’Allaah. Hope you enjoyed my intro! I’m out. Peace!